Isn’t this the dipshit in a top hat who needed his mommy to campaign with him?

I think so, but I’m so deep on the autism spectrum that I’m probably SCUBA-certified, so…

I’ve been playing some hidden gem indie games from that era, too. Ever heard of “Super Mario World”? I’ve never seen anything like it.

If you want to give a gift that’s simultaneously very thoughtful AND a very shitty gift: buy him a pair of knee pads. Refuse to elaborate on why you bought them.

Motherfucker, you were neutral against Hitler up until you figured out that he wasn’t just expanding east.

I wear tankies when it is hot out.

TIL I am a centrist.

Consider the OneLobster009: you don’t have sex, because you’re a weirdo. RIP in pepperonis.

A Linux Wizard does not require a calendar. They simply arrive exactly when they are supposed to.

This is like if you did a Google search for Sergey Brin dumb, and the result was just the navy seals copypasta with your actual home address.

Web 3.0 is, more or less, what timeshares were to our predecessors. Here’s a thing you can theoretically use, but in practice, it’s useless and just cons you out of a ton of cash. And the theoretical thing will never actually exist.

Meanwhile, I am permanently banned from YouTube for uploading a 45 second clip of an episode of Star Wars Rebels as a private video to share with my kids, after we just (legally) watched it and they thought it was cool.

Such a good system.

I got an imprecise large language model right here for them

JUST WRITE GOOD CODE HOLY SHIT

They did. It’s true.

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Your laptop desires are common, but unprofitable. Even if manufacturers charged twice as much for them, they’d lose out in the long run. Because you wouldn’t need to buy a new one every three years.

It’s the same problem that mobile phones have. Year after year, the number one complaint in consumer surveys is: “I want longer battery life!” It’s been like that for 20 years now. You’re never gonna see it. The battery having a short daily life—as well as a short lifecycle (before you have to bin the device because the battery isn’t replaceable)—is an intentional design choice. It ensures you keep buying The Coolest New Thing every few years. That’s money in the bank, baby!

Wow. I can’t believe it was given the Creative Ribbon Award. It goes without saying, but the International Ladybug Accolade committee better step up their nominations this year. I’d hate to see a XxX_dual_design_xXx resurgence this year after the Stylish Chance Trophy dropped the ball so hard in 2023.

We can walk and chew gum at the same time. We can hate Genocide Joe AND the empire!

That fucking rules. They pulled an uno reverse on the school’s propaganda display.

This pic is definitely some modern nerdo blinging out their GameBoy like it’s a luxury purse.

I had a screen light plugin back in the day, though. It made those six hour drives every few weeks bearable, without having to wait for a light to pass over us before I made a jump.

Crime rules.