Hi. It’s been a while since I’ve been really active on this platform. Hoping to change that now. I felt like I was on a one way downward spiral around the time that I disappeared from this place. Needed to tell someone that might understand what is happening in my life and I felt like this would be a good return post around here, so I hope this is the appropriate community for it. Feels appropriate.

Both little things and bigger things feel like they’re starting to finally go my way. 90% thanks to finally asking for help from my older sisters, who I am forever indebted to for always being the dumpster fire that needs putting out. Hopefully I’m getting onto a path now of no longer help or even starting to be able to reciprocate.

On the little things side, I’ve got a nice new phone with a non-broken screen and can actually see what I’m doing and at least have a semblance of an online social life again; I’m starting to look more and more like me, my hair is getting nice and long now and looking fucking fantastic and doing most of the heavy lifting in making me like what I see in the mirror, and I’m finally getting my nose pierced again in the near future! I’ve been listening to a lot of music again and going down rabbit holes and discovering new things thanks to a thread I made here a while back on my other account; I’ve started dabbling in programming again and learning to make pixel art.

On the big things side, my fucked up and embarrassing teeth situation is mostly sorted out (actually this is doing the heavy lifting for my positivity levels); and I am going to be doing the TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course.

Trying not to count my chickens before they hatch but hopefully by this time next year, I’ll have a decent paying WFH gig without a suit or a haircut or a manager breathing down my neck. And I’ll be really making up for lost time and taking my power back. And filling the hole with nice things like clothes and jewelry and tattoos and books, and things to put on my walls.

For anyone that read this far, thanks for reading my self centred rant. I’ve missed this place and missed a few of you (I’m sure you know who you are 💜). I’m going to try and not be a stranger around here from now.

  • dingus@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    4 days ago

    Hey man sometimes we just need to shout to the world about something good! I feel like my life is at a turning point as well (altho it’s in less of an optimistic way and more of a dramatic change sort of way). Wishing you the best for your future. :)

    • Secret Music 🎵 [they/them]@crazypeople.onlineOPEnglish
      1·
      3 days ago

      Thanks Dingus! Lol I love the username.

      Honestly I’m trying not to be too optimistic and count on plans that might change or fall through because you never know. But also need to be far away from that hopeless feeling now, I’m done with it.

      I hope that your dramatic changes are at least not negative. Maybe sometimes flipping the board and starting over can be good too.

  • Tangerine Twist@scribe.disroot.orgEnglish
    4·
    10 days ago

    Hi, nice to meet you. Thanks for sharing your story, it’s not a self-centered rant. I’m not here a lot but one of my favorite communities (Eternal Playlist) is on your instance.

    Good luck on your WFH gig and maybe you can share some of that pixel art you’re making sometime. Take care! 🧡

    • Secret Music 🎵 [they/them]@crazypeople.onlineOPEnglish
      2·
      5 days ago

      I was actually semi regularly posting tracks there a few months ago lol. Although my tastes can veer towards the heavier side I love that community. And I’ll probably get back into posting there.

      Apologies for the late response, nice to meet you too! 💜

  • altkey (he\him)@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    3·
    10 days ago

    Haven’t seen you before and I’m glad you got up from where you’ve been. Having plans, having goal - is pretty unbelievable after being in the dark, and I hope you’d not get overwhelmed. Sorting out the teeth question is a big W, these 32 gremlins are absurd, cockey racketing moneysinks from one’s birth to deathbed.

    • Secret Music 🎵 [they/them]@crazypeople.onlineOPEnglish
      2·
      10 days ago

      If anything, I’m overwhelmed by the lack of power of my own life and the stagnation at this point. Ready more than ever to take a second shot at life and a second shot at being me.

      Thanks for the kind words.

    • Secret Music 🎵 [they/them]@crazypeople.onlineOPEnglish
      2·
      11 days ago

      At this point yes definitely. I haven’t worked on a career over the years, so my prospects are mainly low paying blue collar stuff for the rest of my life. And from what I’ve gathered, particularly in my country, the teaching English gig rivals or is outright better than most of my other options.

      With a lighter schedule and in the comfort of my own home, or anywhere there’s wi-fi. I don’t need to be rich and it would allow for side projects anyway, if I wanted or needed. Personal freedom is something money can’t buy.

      And any other old school type jobs that I could get right now would just sap all my physical and mental health and time for the same or less reward.