I usually tell myself that nothing happened, at least I have no recollection of anything ‘bad’ really happening to me at an early age to justify my issues. And I don’t really think I have ‘repressed memories’, if that is even a thing. But then, so many of these symptoms are so fitting that I don’t know what to make of it.
I’ve tried really hard to ‘remember’, there’s some stuff, but none seems bad enough. And the only thing that I could label as messed up happened when I was like 9 and an isolated case so it seems like an outlier.
My only guess is that whatever happened, assuming it did, was so early that my memories are both fuzzy and pre-verbal so I literally couldn’t put words into them and are more like vague feelings.
Can’t force the memory to resurface. It comes when you’re ready for it, not before (i.e. when you’re not running from it anymore). Took a lot of effort, therapy, and breakthroughs… Then, when I least expected it, several memory triggers hitting all at once and BAM. All came back like lightning. Every detail, like it happened yesterday.
I usually tell myself that nothing happened, at least I have no recollection of anything ‘bad’ really happening to me at an early age to justify my issues. And I don’t really think I have ‘repressed memories’, if that is even a thing. But then, so many of these symptoms are so fitting that I don’t know what to make of it.
Funny, I said this exact same thing. Got pissed at the therapist, never went back to him.
Then it all came back.
Things don’t stay buried.
I’ve tried really hard to ‘remember’, there’s some stuff, but none seems bad enough. And the only thing that I could label as messed up happened when I was like 9 and an isolated case so it seems like an outlier.
My only guess is that whatever happened, assuming it did, was so early that my memories are both fuzzy and pre-verbal so I literally couldn’t put words into them and are more like vague feelings.
Can’t force the memory to resurface. It comes when you’re ready for it, not before (i.e. when you’re not running from it anymore). Took a lot of effort, therapy, and breakthroughs… Then, when I least expected it, several memory triggers hitting all at once and BAM. All came back like lightning. Every detail, like it happened yesterday.