I’ll start by saying that I’d get rid of the need to shit. I’m pretty sure everyone can agree that it’s unpleasant.

  • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    Remove sneezing. If only because I find people wishing me “bless you” to be the most useless & meaningless human interaction I can think of.

    How about your bless my farts, Ryan, you purposeless dingbat.

  • Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de
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    4 hours ago

    Make everyone shit rounded rare earth metal cylinders. Suddenly we don’t need Cobalt and Lithium mines any more and the worst aspects of having to poop are solved too. It’s dry and doesn’t stink, so no need for the toilet, just poop in your little collection bucket, no need for wiping and then you go on with your day.

  • cageythree@lemmy.ml
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    1 day ago

    Everyone’s saying the need to sleep. That goes a bit too far IMO. Who knows it would work out as we think it to be? Maybe the 33% we sleep will just be reduced off our lifespan with nothing won.
    Also, honestly, even if that wouldn’t be the case - I wouldn’t want to not sleep at all. It’s like a regular break from life. Even if employers wouldn’t exploit this, I don’t want to be awake forever.

    Now, here’s my proposal: We still need to sleep, but we can control falling asleep and waking up like it’s a muscle. Lay in bed and fall asleep anytime. No more falling-asleep issues for anyone, no more sleepless nights.
    And also, we’d have a perfect inner clock and the ability to choose when we wake up. Fall asleep at 11 PM, have to get up at 7? Great, you know exactly when 8hrs are over and are able to just wake up, no alarm needed.

  • radau@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 day ago

    That thing when you accidentally swallow the smallest amount of spit the wrong way and start coughing like mad

  • Mistic@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Surprised nobody said cell degradation.

    You now can live for as long as you’re not killed whilst physically keeping an appearance of an ~30 y.o. This also technically prevents cancer.

  • Don_alForno@feddit.org
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    1 day ago

    The “loosing hair where I want it to grow and growing it where I definitely don’t want it to grow” thing.

  • Krudler@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I would like to correct the gut-brain connection. 95% of the time our gut tells our brain that it wants something, and it’s trying to say it wants water, but the brain hears that the gut is hungry.

  • Uncle@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    needing food. that would free up a lot of time and money, no input = no output. no dishes, no stove or fridge, no need for a dishwasher, then on the other end, no need for TP, or even a toilet!

    • NutinButNet@hilariouschaos.com
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      2 days ago

      This was my comment. My dad and I felt that same way but my grandmother just couldn’t understand how we could.

      If I never needed to eat, that’d be wonderful. No more getting fat ever again and I’d probably be 100 times healthier.

    • XeroxCool@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      If you’re still regenerating tissue, your body is still producing weight. Drastically reduced (I’d guess by 75% total, of which 2/3 is dead digestive bacteria you’d no longer need), but still existent.

      Fun fact, you don’t defecate out weight loss, either. You exhale carbon in CO2

        • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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          4 hours ago

          Fat contains long hydrocarbon H-C-H chains (with other stuff at the end). When it’s broken down to release energy, it combines with (3) oxygen O2 molecules, making H=O=H (water, H2O) that you sweat, pee or breathe out, and O=C=O (carbon dioxide) that your breathe out. Carbon accounts for significantly more of the weight than the hydrogen and it’s in this sense that you breathe it out.

          If you breathe significantly more without exercise, you’ll hyperventilate, which I’m sure is even less fun than the exercise in lengthy doses, and I don’t think you’ll lose weight.

        • XeroxCool@lemmy.world
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          17 hours ago

          Not effectively. You’ll just have a lower concentration of CO2 in your exhaled air. Maybe it’ll stay the same with the increase in exertion by breathing more, but that’d be a good way to estimate how little energy your breathing consumes compared to proper exercise. And after all that, exercise is pretty slow to burn calories as well. The good news is your brain burns calories by thinking harder, an activity we’re both now involved in

          • over_clox@lemmy.worldOP
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            1 day ago

            I’m just gonna learn from you and fart glitter. I’m pretty sure I can lose weight that way…

  • chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Remove the need to exercise, like an anaconda. The ability to just lay around doing nothing and still be ripped to the max. That would be cool!

      • over_clox@lemmy.worldOP
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        2 days ago

        Honestly, I have. Not in person though, but on PBS Public Television.

        I do not have the parts to experience child birth, but indeed it does not look like a fun experience.

        • null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 days ago

          Yeah so my partner gave birth to twins in a c-section.

          I also do not have the parts but hoo-boy that was the experience of a lifetime, and not necessarily all fun / happy joyous.

          Basically the pregnant person is on the table and they erect a sheet vertically just below her arms. Then dad (me) sits by her head and holds her hand while the magic happens.

          It seemed like there was about a dozen people in the theatre, the kids each having their own team of pediatrician and nurses.

          It was a complex pregnancy and while everyone is fit and well now the 48 hours following that operation were pretty terrifying.