He’s like Scooby Doo who would do anything for a Scooby Snack, or Kel who would do anything for orange soda.

Except Trump won’t do anything. Like he literally won’t do anything. He’ll just say he did something amazing and then shit his diaper and retreat back into his mansion.

It is

My old tower pc used to give wicked electric shocks off the hdmi ports. Pretty sure I could have run space heaters off those fuckers

I’ll put £20 on immediately, and yes. And can I get odds on it being a missile strike on a hospital or orphanage?

That Chime one is the sloppest AI slop I’ve seen today.

No it’s him. He’s the gym top

It’s not the size of the feet that count. It’s how many orphans you kill.

Penny counters who don’t like paying for storage

I also really like the Bridget Jones’ Diary homage to this by Helen Fielding

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.

Honestly? Security. It’s a crazy world at the moment and I’ve been in my position long enough that I’m hard to get rid of if anyone needs to start chopping.

Damn that orangutan is rubbish at spelling balloon

I have two children but I’m not that hungry. Can I donate my other handful to a childless person?

Oh, didn’t realize this. Had a rolling sub which I never bothered to cancel as I very occasionally watch with mates, but have now cancelled it.

RavenDb like “Yeh and?”

Japan’s population crisis is caused by its young people being too overworked and overcharged to want to have children. Their population by age is becoming very top-heavy which means that the young are paying a lot to keep the old alive.

The solution to this (apart from don’t get into such a situation) is to import young workers to even out your population spread and to raise wages in line with the cost of living and raising a family.

They appear to be shouting “Damn foreigners! Coming over here and making all our elderly live longer than we can economically support them! Overworking our breeding generation so they don’t want kids! Curse those foreigners!”

Yay I can’t wait to see Israel not held to account at all

Monty Hall would love this guy

It hurt itself in its confusion doing exactly as it was told by the orange diaper man

Like Leonid Brezhnev’s eyebrows