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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: February 14th, 2024

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  • Yeah, this is really important. It’s less of a consideration with a partner and you’re comfortable with each other, and your partner instigates things, but with someone you’ve just met you want to feel entirely sure they’re into it. I’ve never really been into casual sex so it’s not been a big issue for me. There have been a couple of occasions where I’ve had to say no because I’ve felt that the other person was too hammered to really consent, even though they were keen. Besides, who wants to get with someone who wouldn’t be into it if they weren’t drunk? Only a rapist.



  • Yeah, I’ve made that mistake too. Thing is, if you really mean it then waiting until they say those words to you first kinda feels dishonest and manipulative. Like, if you’re feeling that crazy feeling it makes you want them to know exactly how you feel and be able to give informed consent to falling in love. You want them to know how you feel because you don’t want to be intense and creepy when they maybe think it’s just a fling. You want you words to maybe unlock part of them that feels the same way.

    A good suggestion is to not say it during or right after sex in a new relationship.

    So yeah, I’ve fucked up too by saying ‘i love you’. But I’ve also said it first and started a relationship that was maybe the best I’ve had.

    I dunno, I guess I think that when you love someone honesty is the best policy. It won’t always work out and when it fucks up you’ll be hurting - but you’ll at least know you were being open, not hiding stuff.

    I hope those words have worked out better for you since!