The background companies we go through here in the US aren’t “random people” and you sign a release of that information for them when they start that background check. So you’ve given them permission to access that info on you. I don’t know what HRs your dealing with but if it’s random hiring managers asking you then they have no idea what’s in a typical background check anyway.

If the rumor that he’s on so much medication he’s shitting himself is true then it seems likely he can’t get it up either.

Most big background check service companies are checking your criminal history directly with the court houses of where you’ve told them you’ve lived. Many will also verify your past employment directly with those companies as well. Depending on the company/job title they may also be checking your credit score/bankruptcy history or verifying degrees with universities as well. They don’t care about what data brokers have on you because they’re getting verification on things directly from official sources.

I don’t know if you’re worried that your too “locked down” privacy wise for a background check to clear? I wouldn’t worry because if you’re using your countries equivalent of a SSN and living “on the grid” but not online at all they’ll still be able to get the info they need/want anyway. I’ve had employees who didn’t even have emails or own phones/computers clear background.

I can’t figure out if she has even asked for his help on this, if she hasn’t then perhaps he should just back off until she does.

Yeah, coding skills are the only relevant skills…especially for combating climate change…

OSHA has some protections regarding things like water access and such. But OSHA doesn’t cover every industry.

You don’t get spousal support because someone was a sperms donor to you or had a short term affair with you. That’s not how spousal support works.

There might ve some improvement with medication for some people.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4120250/

And some training may improve working memory, although there seems to be some disagreement about how much.

https://link.springer.com/article/10.3758/s13423-024-02466-8#:~:text=Meta-analyses have found that,tasks for assessment and training.

So object permanence is way more extreme than what most people with ASD or ADHD experience. You can demonstrate a lack of object permanence in young children by presenting them with a toy and then covering the toy with a blanket, while they child is watching. The child will react as if the object is gone and be unable to find the toy. It’s at some point in the toddler phase where most children pick up object permanence. For example you’d expect a 4 year old to lift the blanket they saw you place over the toy.

With ADHD it’s an attention/working memory issue. I’d expect an ND adult to know to look under the blanket they saw placed over an object immediately after it happened. Someone without object permanence couldn’t do that. It’s why peek-a-boo is a fun game for babies but not ADHD adults.

but communities know each other and are less likely to see different constituent groups as “outsiders”

Tell that to every gay kid who grew up in a small rural Christian town…

form their own peacekeepers

So you expect every marginalized group to have their own personal cops? What about cross-sectional minorities. I don’t know how this works in your head but whatever you’re trying to say here is not translating well.

I also drive a stick, put the car in gear when you get to the light.

I assume you’d go to the owner of the instance that hosts that particular community.

You take that back! Archer vice was one of the best seasons!

“If we don’t spend it this year, we can’t get an increase next year.”

So someone who is allistic is likely going to have very little issue with the “shirt is blue” and moving on with their day. Just because someone is allistic doesn’t mean they are neurotypical, the common implication otherwise is just a pet peeve of mine.

The fact that the vagueness of the statement bothers you this much suggests to me that you are talking about an autistic more than adhd trait but ymmv.

Missing social cues is adhd related. Not understanding implied social cues is more autism related. Many people with one have the other so it can be hard to separate them.

Your gut reaction being to go immediately to 100 miles an hour is probably the ADHD. Most of us hyperfixate really easily and jump into things with both feet. That said, in my personal experience, we also tend to hyperfixate on hobbies in a certain “category”. If your a sports person, or hiking person, or craft person, or theater person you’ll regularly hyperfixate on things that surround your “main” interests. (Sometimes we also go wildly off script but most ADHDers I know eventually circle back to their core interests.)

That said it’d be smart to get a basic understanding of camping in first because you can use it as a springboard for future hyperfixations. This was you’ll have the basic knowledge and equipment when your focus changes to ultra light, or extreme conditions, or rafting to camp spots. Etc. There is no escaping the dopamine hyperfixation train so you just have to learn systems that help you do it with minimal negative consequences.

That’s also not your average prison. That specific picture is for a federal supermax prison that won the Guinness record for most secure prison. Apparently they send “problem” prisoners there, and almost the entire place is designed to be solitary.

https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/74011-most-secure-prison

https://www.thoughtco.com/adx-supermax-overview-972970

Not maybe, yes. Thats what it means. “Water ditching” is a common colloquial name for an “emergency water landing” which is a type of emergency landing. A plane doing a nose dive straight into the water is not an emergency landing. That’s just a run of the mill crash.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_landing

The US forest service says it’s 90% but I’m not sure where they get that number from either.

https://www.fs.usda.gov/Internet/FSE_DOCUMENTS/stelprdb5139786.pdf

Isn’t there literally a German fairy tale about someone able to make straw into gold?

So this is actually really important context OP. If you’ve “overstepped” with this friend before then your GF may already feel a bit cheated on. For you to leave her birthday to specifically meet this particular friend given your background info? That’s a pretty devastating blow to the trust in your relationship.

There is no socially acceptable way to tell your GF “I needed a break from you , on your birthday, so I went to hang out with a woman actively trying to get me to cheat on you with her.” Because it definitely sounds like thats what this friend was trying to do, if she’s allistic there is no world in which she wasn’t trying to take you on a date. (I understand meeting your friend wasn’t preplanned, that matters very little here.)

Honestly OP I know you said in another comment that it hurt you that your GFs friends told her to break up with you but I’m seriously surprised she didn’t. This is gonna sound mean but I really just want to be as clear as possible, so I appologize for how blunt and rude Im gonna be in this next part. I just want to make sure you understand whats likely happening in you GFs social circle. Full disclosure, if I had the information from these comments and was your GFs friend I would be telling her, “He cheated on you on your birthday, and he’ll do it again. You need to break up with him. He doesnt care about you. Hes more into his friend.” And I’d be repeating it to her every single time you saw this particular friend. It’s wild to me that you’re not single right now. I don’t know of a single allistic person who would read this story, with the added context, and not assume youre at least trying to cheat on your girlfriend. If you want this to have a chance with your GF given her history of being cheated on then you may need to put this friendship on the backburner.

On the flip side, it does sound like you might care more about this friend than your girlfriend. Given the sexual orientations that you’ve outlined elsewhere have you considered dating this friend instead of your GF? All three of you might be happier? Just food for thought.