I need most of these as individual screenshots, specifically the last one

I have to wear an insulin pump so I can’t just be naked. When I did sleep naked I tried having a running belt on, but the first 2 or 3 I tried had a buckle that would make me sore in that one spot. So I just don’t too often anymore

I’m not prepared for the upcoming year 2019

those old Harlem Shake videos from 2013… and I was in two of em

I travel the world and the seven seas

do remember that Reaganomics hadn’t been invented yet, so wages, income, and all that were MUCH better

me too. just started actually. well actually VDV

I’m glad this wasn’t posted like 3 weeks ago when my laptop battery died on me. otherwise I woulda thought this was legit happening

Gen Z? Yes.

Producers, advertisers, and other media big wigs that would fit in with the Ferengi Commerce Association? No

I’ve had people wonder ask how I cross my legs (not foot-on-knee but actually crossed over) without my balls getting in the way or damaged

Just to suffer?

$34 a pound, product price $1.99 on the other side

kill a couple thousand politicians, but try to spare any under the age of 45. I may or may not agree with their views, but at least they’ll be a part of the future they’re tryna make.

torture some billionaires to gain access to their company payroll, so I can cut their CEOs pay and raise their entry-level workers’ pay. Hell, I’ll raise the payrates of everyone under them, they all deserve it more than a CEO.

I’d prolly only have enough time to do that to one company tho, so I’d probably choose Amazon as priority one.

N*ked Bo

Lady ok

Missed an opportunity to call it Johnny Depth

Guy who fights to make his evangelical scrapbook he calls a bible into the soverign law and belittles his coworkers in hopes of getting good-boy points for his false prophet may need to rely on the afformentioned coworkers he belittles?

there is nothing about this scenario that feels like a win for anyone

It doesn’t haunt me, but Full Metal Jacket. My dad rented it for family movie night when I was 10 or 11, and needless to say my mom is STILL mad at him for watching that with me in the room for the first hour. Worst part is my dad didn’t know about it, he only knew R Lee Ermy from a show he did on the history channel called Mail Call that he watched with my sister growing up. So he never expected Ermy to shout that stuff.

Goddamn youth imams are at it again

Josie couldn’t consent. Jake couldn’t consent. But THE LORD COULD!

Your honor, did you remember to ask Him?

I’ll ignore the temple, but I won’t ignore the couple dressed like a warm spring day in the snowiest mountains or pink moon