Just crystallized for me that I have a tendency to retreat into myself when I’m stressed and it makes it harder to be friends with people because 1) it means time that I’m less interested in spending with them / getting to know them / etc. for no apparent reason and 2) I miss out on bonding that I could be doing by telling them what my stresses are. Probably made worse, too, by the fact that my beliefs aren’t exactly mainstream in the US / western sphere, so when the stress is induced by things relating to that, even if I did try to share my stresses, a lot of people would probably just not really get quite what it is that I’m stressed about.

Even in the context of Trump being in charge of the US right now, I still feel somewhat alone when talking to liberal-resistance-minded people about it because it’s like they’re approaching it from another universe of belief about how things work. Like with USAID, trying to explain my not exactly being shock and horror that it’s facing problems. Some of the stuff I think is funny or borderline funny, they think is super serious and some of the stuff they think is funny I think is missing the mark. But that’s just an example of where it’s worse, I think. My problems with it go beyond politics.